​​​Recovering Catholic​​​

As a “Cradle Catholic” I was born and bred into the faith,

...so I always believed in a Creator, Jesus, and The Holy Ghost. I dutifully learned my catechism at the feet of the nuns. Yes, I went to parochial school and I did get a very good education. However, through 12 years of catholic school, I was never taught the complete message of Redemption and Salvation. But I was thoroughly indoctrinated in the absolute expectations of the “one true church”.

Our daily catechism lessons included the extra church doctrine, like Purgatory

The cold war heated up, and I obediently hid under my school desk during the regular nuclear bomb drills. At 8 years old, I already had questions. If the world ended, would we still go to purgatory or straight to heaven? How would we purify our souls? Would there still be a purgatory if everyone died all at once? Poor Mom! She finally told me the quick pain would be enough to make us worthy of heaven. I was only 8, knew nothing of nuclear fallout, so, ok.

Life went on, I attended Mass with my family on Sundays, and readied myself...

...for my First Confession (now called Reconciliation), First Communion, and, by age 11, Confirmation. Yet I still had no understanding of the gift of the Cross. You see, Catholics are not taught from the Bible. Homes had one, of course. The Catholic Bible, with the imprimatur of the Pope. I just knew basic, simple Bible stories. And a catechism to memorize, full of church doctrine. So many rules, pounded into us, day by day.

I was confused and had questions, but we were not permitted to question. We were taught:

the difference between mortal sin and venial sin, purgatory, the assumption of The Blessed Mother into heaven, the importance of The Rosary, prayers to saints, papal infallibility, the Holy Sacrifice of The Mass, Holy Days of Obligation, the need for confession and pennance with a priestly intermediary, etc. etc. etc. I was an adult before I realized I had the wrong 10 Commandments!

Age 12...Why am I here? What is the purpose of life? Why do we go to Mass on Sunday...

...if Jesus was a Jew? What happened to the Sabbath? Why was it a mortal sin to miss Mass on Sunday? Why did I need to confess to a priest when I was confident I could talk directly to God? So many questions. But I decided to ask my mom about the Sunday vs. Sabbath thing, and confessing to a priest. Simple answers...Sunday Mass showed we were different from Judaism, and the Church said so.

Although I continued to attend Mass with the family, by the time I was 16...

I had some Sundays scheduled for Volunteer work at a local hospital. On those days, I left earlier to “go to Mass” on my own, but instead spent the hour sitting and daydreaming in a nearby stairwell. When church ended, I took my cue and headed to the hospital. I had stopped confessing, and hardly ever received communion. I was in a catholic high school, and got enough religion all week. I had too many questions and Catholicism wasn’t doing it for me.

The Ecumenical Council created a huge uproar in my family. My parents hated

the changes, and hated, even more, the new instruction my siblings and I were getting at school. They fought the diocese and got us withdrawn from the mandatory religion classes. I only had a semester to go, but the others were out of the classes much longer. I didn’t really care, but, oddly, all through this time, I never lost my belief or faith in God. I just knew that the Catholic Church was wrong. At least for me.

When born Catholic, no matter how unhappy, it’s hard to let go. I wasn’t there yet

Even though I didn’t attend church much, as I prepared to marry my atheist fiance, I insisted we marry in the church with a presiding priest. I know, it’s strange. 7 years later, my atheist husband was still, actually, an atheist and he was holding on to his “no children” lifestyle. I was so unhappy, I ended up getting a divorce. That was hard, and I felt like a terrible failure.

2 years later I met a lovely Irish Catholic man who had never been married

So I married him! Catholicism has an incredibly strong grip! It never occurred to either of us to approach another Christian denomination. Because I was divorced, a Catholic ceremony was out of the question. So a secular judge it was. We had 2 lovely daughters, and both were baptiized in the Catholic Church with great fanfare. Now we needed to do something about church. 2 new souls were in our care. We tried and, sorry to say, we failed.

In spite of the fact that we, basically, became “twofers” (Christmas and Easter)

I made sure my children attended CCD classes, and both completed the sacraments of First Reconciliation (Confession) and First Communion. I honestly couldn't teach them myself. I had no idea what to teach, and I didn’t have another church. I couldn’t even imagine trying to find a “non-catholic” community. I wasn’t even sure what to look for or what would be right. I just had a bunch of rules.

And then I rediscovered Hal Lindsey! That man brought me to the Lord!

Years earlier I had read “The Late Great Planet Earth”. That book was the subject of many lively discussions among my various family members. We found the subject matter fascinating, especially as we were all Catholic and had never been exposed to The Book of Revelation. Probably because it was in the Bible. But it didn’t answer any real questions. It was just a good read about what might be coming in the near future.

The Re-discovery of this learned Christian man came at an important time

My children were young, and I was trying to figure out how we fit into God’s plan. I read “There’s a New World Coming”, which is a verse by verse explanation of Revelation. And for the first time I got the whole picture. It was like being sucker punched. We did not have to keep regaining salvation through confessionals, Masses, Holy Communions and all the nonsensical things I had been taught by Rome. Jesus did it all for me. Completely!

I have always believed in the Resurrection. I was just never taught by the Catholic Church

what the completely finished gift meant. All sins redeemed for everyone. Salvation through grace and faith, a personal relationship with Jesus, and true repentance, will complete my salvation and my eternal life. Why did I not know this? I sometimes think the RCC has serious control issues, claiming a divine authority to interpret the Bible for us, and lay down the extra dogma of what is needed to get to heaven. Thank you Jesus!

I wish I could say all was well, but I lost my way for a time. My children were young...

...and I had no family or faith community to help me mature. My husband is a lovely man, but he was just tolerant of my new, exciting truth. I ended up divorced, drifting, exploring alternatives lifestyles, reading tarot for a time, and basically putting Jesus on a back burner. Thank you, Lord, for your unconditional love and patience. It was a frustrating and difficult time in my life. I regret much, but I found my way back, in a rather shocking way.

I was disturbed about the more and more and more blatant ridicule of Christianity

I was also sensitive to the unrest and growing evil in the world. One day I was cruising YouTube and was enjoying some near death experience videos. I was basking in the descriptions of tunnels of light and unconditional love. Suddenly the next video popped in and it was a young man who had gone to hell! For whatever reason, that video shook me to my core. God works in mysterious ways?

I immediately prayed with abject apology for ignoring my Savior for so long

I turned away from all I had been doing, and re-dedicated my life to Jesus, with a grateful heart. I now use YouTube to study and deepen my understanding of The Word, and these free resources are what I share with you in the sincere prayer that you will find your way to eiternal salvation. It is my hope that you can begin your search here. This is my testimony